How I Learned to Love the Recession

Source: sweetdecor.tumblr.com via Dorothy on Pinterest

 

Big news---we've decided NOT to buy a house. Or even leave the city. We are moving, though, to a deluxe apartment in the sky. Okay, it's not really deluxe, nor is it in the sky. It is a few hundred square feet bigger, has an extra bathroom, and, wait for it....it has a dishwasher. Yes, I have been living without a dishwasher for more than 10 years. I didn't mind until the children came along, and then I became more concerned about bacteria and mold congregating in the impossible to clean kiddie drinkware. But this story isn't about the dishwasher, or even the apartment. It's about something much, much more important. It's about my marriage. Now that we're at the end of it, I feel like I can share the ordeal we went through in the process of house-hunting. There are so many things wrong with the Real Estate industry that I can't even begin to tackle them. What I will say is that if you think planning a wedding is a test of your relationship, get ready for the next step in the process--buying a home. And what is at the root of this discussion, of course, is money. How much, or how little you have to spend becomes the topic du jour when house-hunting, for obvious reasons. The industry wants you to spend as much as you possibly can, to really stretch yourself. Hence, the housing crisis. But isn't it incredible that very little has changed in the approach, even with the legions of houses that have depressed value? Now, I am one of those people who feels really guilty leaving a store without buying something. I have even been known to overspend from time to time. But my husband is the exact opposite. Thankfully. We are a perfect balance--I am the sky, and he is the sturdy ground below. The downside is that I am often trying to get him to jump off the ground a little higher, and he's trying to keep me from floating away. This is essentially what happened during this latest house-hunting extravaganza. And boy oh boy, did we go at it. But at the end, when all the dust settled, we found ourselves sitting on the seesaw, perfectly balanced. For my part, I really saw the whole picture--if we bought the best house on the best street in the best town we could afford, there was going to be a compromise. It was only a matter of what to compromise on and what to hold firm on. We did the smart thing, and did the math for the "easy fixes" we would need, and added that to the purchase price. When the seller wasn't willing to negotiate, we walked. But first we got comfortable with the fact that we live in a really great neighborhood (Hudson (Washington) Heights, NYC) where you really know the people you pass on the street. It is the most affordable, nicest part of Manhattan (in my opinion), filled with diversity and spirit and energy. We found a new apartment in a great building, in which several of our friends already live. Our daughter is going to the same school as last year--which we love. Our son is going to be in another little kids program two days a week. We have again found the balance, and fortified our marriage with understanding, flexibility, and faith. I hope my experience can help you a little bit in these trying times. Just remember--we're all in this together :)

XO

Emily

Comments

[quintessence]

Terrific post Emily!! So glad you found a solution you are both happy with and that you will share some of your design decisions once you're settled!!

[Pam]

Mazel tov! May you enjoy years of happiness in your new home!

[colores]

I just found your lovely blog by chance and found this posting so good! I fully mimetized with you!!!! a big kiss